Today I played till 2 fingers bled.

I am now 30 years old. It is no less a milestone as it is an insignificant imprint of the fabric of time.

There are many things I am thankful for. But for sure, my dream of becoming a millionaire before I turn 30 falls short. That's one down the list of dreams, but in retrospect, I feel fulfilled with the adventure of my life, both high and low in states, the miles travelled, the depth of thought and introspection, the gainfully employed to the doctorate seeking thinker, to downright too chilled; the list goes on rather infinitely. By and large, I am happy that I've been given a wide breadth of experiences to feel fulfilled by it, rather than one prescribed linear path to be pursued with governance and instruction.

This might all sound a bit self-indulged, and it probably unavoidably will do so, is that yes, it is a little about me. Feel I haven't really been sharing much of real personal experience, just photos, links, the odd phrases. So here it is. Something a little deeper. Reflections of 2008. The last mohicans of my twenties, or tweenteens, as my Cuz Ray would call it.

To begin, is the Mitsubishi Magna 1997. She fell ill just 4 months into becoming my steed. Diagnosed with a transmission box problem, she's been running with me through thick and thin since October 2007, never failing, despite the weak transmission making her prone to having problems at the low gears and low ravs, but still she gets me to band practice at Williamstown (about 35km away) and the airport (40+km) with pretty good determination. So kudos to that.

Next is getting into my current band the Suntrap. They're awesome to goodness. Felt the need to attempt to break into the Aussie band market. Many great bands have come from here. And they usually move to worldwide stardom. Logged onto a Melbourne band forum and wrote in to a few 'drummer needed' ads. Out of the 3, 2 were cool with me playing for them without an audition. Only the Suntrap asked for an audition. Lugged my kit over for the auditions anyways, because their music sounded so good. 90s effected indie-rock in the style of Radiohead and a bit of Verve. Made it in straight after the auditions and man, I've been so happy. Regular practice weekly for one day only - of hardcore rehearsal, attention to detail, the dynamic creative process. It was lovely. For once I could be just a drummer and do what I loved - play the drums. This luxury was not one I had back in Singapore half-managing the band and playing, getting gigs, et al. And man. Album due mid 2009. Finally, making a record in Australia with an Australian band. Just today, I played in recording till 2 fingers bled.

On the topic of music, I am also glad I have a lifetime goal - to travel around China to record sounds and music of all the 55 ethnic 'tribe's on emotions like love, hate, anger, jealousy, and the like. Take a year off just to do it. And see how the great expanses of the Chinese lands might just see many things harmoniously, that might prove a point, that all the voices shared equally could be a truer voice of the Middle Kingdom, we shall see. Thanks 'One Giant Leap' as the source of inspiration.

Discovering an inner state of 'immature' Zen. Been largely been able to attempt to control my states of flux and pendulum swings, both ways they find sustained presence, but never at one time. And being able to merge some Zen sharings to reflect a state of mind of perhaps Jesus Christ. Last year my laptop hard disk crashed, 2 days before two 9,000 word assignments were due. I just smiled when it died, and banged away fresh on the school computer the entire 2 papers, and managed to get 2 distinctions in return. That state of mind is beautiful. Though I still lose it from time to time, unfortunately, when it came to being with loved ones. Must learn to break this bad habit. A nice center surely must be nice to keep centered around family.
Sometimes it may swing too far, but all one needs to do is to let it go.

Which leads me to the most significant point, being thankful for my family for bringing me this far. From struggling student to fledgling academic back to studenthood towards permanent head damage. These words need no long elaboration. Thankful is all I need to say.